Sometimes I fantasize about having a magic wand. How awesome it would
be to wave it and completely eliminate prejudice, hate, and ignorance.
Just imagine what it would be like to live in a world like that.
How It Feels to Have a Gay or Lesbian Parent: A Book by Kids for Kids
of All Ages gives voice to the thoughts, feelings, and experiences of
children, adolescents, and young adults who have a gay or lesbian
parent. In their own words, they talk openly and candidly about how and
when they learned of their parent’s sexual orientation and the effect it
had on them—and their families. Their stories echo themes of prejudice
and harassment, conflict and confusion, adaptation and adjustment, and
hope for tolerance and a family that can exist in harmony.
“Because it’s an issue for other people, it becomes an issue for me. I’m angry about the way it works against me.”
The stories told in How It Feels to Have a Gay or Lesbian Parent not
only reflect the day-to-day struggle of children with a GLBT parent,
they also reveal the pain inherent in high-conflict divorce and child
custody cases. Children of gay/lesbian parents ranging in age from seven
to 31 recall the confusion and grief created when the disclosure of
their parent’s true sexual orientation ended a marriage and divided a
family. The “straight” parent’s resentment can lead to angry remarks
that—intentionally or unintentionally—disparage the gay/lesbian parent
and threaten the natural love and affection the child feels for both.
“I
guess the hardest part about having a gay dad is that no matter how
okay you are with it, there’s always going to be someone who will
dislike you because of it.”
The one-on-one interviews
presented in How It Feels to Have a Gay or Lesbian Parent document
first-hand the effects of homophobia on family life. Children struggle
with the choice between living in a closet, shamed by peers and family
members, or dealing with discrimination as a parent’s sexual orientation
is used against them. Taken together, these stories make a statement
for acceptance, understanding, and tolerance as children do their best
to make the transition from a traditional family to a nontraditional
lifestyle.
“My mom is a normal person just like everyone
else. The only thing that’s different about her is that she’s gay and if
you can’t deal with it, you’re just going to have to live with it.”
How It Feels to Have a Gay or Lesbian Parent: A Book by Kids for Kids
of All Ages offers comfort and support to children from those who share
their journey. The book is a valuable aid for practitioners working with
children of GLBT parents and an educational tool for GLBT adults
considering children.
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